Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just gift wrapped bread.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
