he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
