Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Randomize
