yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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