whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
