So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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