Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
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