I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
