69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
