I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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