I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
