no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
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