Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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