I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Im part way to drunk.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
