Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
