So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
