On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
