if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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