At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
