He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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