is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Just high enough for therapy.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize