I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
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