just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
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