I love watching others lives come down to our level.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize