This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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