i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
