Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
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