why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
