North Korea, Best Korea!
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
