And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize