my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
