'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Randomize
