Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
