Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
