I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Tell her she can't have a vagina
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
