I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
