And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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