You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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