I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
we made out on top of his cat.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
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