we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
