Dual....:-)
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
