I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I would ride that face into the sunset
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize