5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
