The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
