my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
