...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize