Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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