I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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