I'm drive I can fine osifer
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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