i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
