Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
