I feel like I'm in dance class right now
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
