u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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