Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
