She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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