Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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