we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
We need to feng shui this bitch.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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