I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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